


Taking Care

by WithLovingRegards



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-03 11:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11530833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithLovingRegards/pseuds/WithLovingRegards
Summary: The Inquisitor takes care of Cullen in ways he didn't even know he needed.Just a bunch of fluffy happiness, because Cullen deserves to be taken care of.





	1. Some Nights

There were two ways that Cullen spent his night. Restlessly, tossing in his sheets, a sweat having worked over his skin, leaving him hot to the core no matter how much cold the hole in the roof let in. He would mumble and moan in his sleep, nightmares of a previous life come back to taunt him. On most of those nights, he would awaken much earlier than the sun to pace his room for a couple minutes before starting the rest of his day. Reading and rereading reports until the nightmares were no longer his concern for the day. Ever since he’d stopped taking Lyrium, this sleeplessness was common. It would continue until his body shut down and forced him to pass out into a coma of exhaustion.

It wasn’t until he’d become more intimate with the Inquisitor- Evelyn, he corrected- did this change. First, when no one was sure of her innocence, but had no choice but to follow her lead, she had appeared in his dreams like a ghost. At the edges of his vision, whisping away like many spirits did. It was something real, something that helped ground him, to make him realize that this was only a nightmare, and he could awaken before a ghastly claw could close around his throat. 

They’d become friends, and soon after that, more. She had no problem standing close or taking his hand in public, and didn’t seemed deterred when teased from her inner circle when she sweetly brushed his unruly curls from his face. These small things had been enough to chase the night terrors away, leaving him with only sweet dreams of her, which would have him waking up gasping for a different reason.

And when she laid down with him, wrapping her naked body around his own, stroking his skin even in her sleep, he found nothing could disturb him from his slumber except for her gentle kisses to his lips and temple. Her smile was brighter than the sun, and he wanted nothing more than to ignore their duties and keep that smile on her face forever, but eventually they would have to separate.

Tonight, Cullen found himself resting against her, his head resting on her chest while she wrapped her legs around his torso, contorting until every part of her touched every part of him. He wanted to ask if she was truly comfortable this way, but her fingers running through his hair, scratching his scalp, left him immobile, only able to softly moan into her skin.

He could feel her smile as she kissed his head, murmuring things too soft for him to understand. Her movements and breaths started to slow, until a few minutes later she was still, with her hand still tangled in his hair. It was Cullen’s turn to smile now, placing his own kiss between her breasts.

“Maker knows I don’t deserve you,” he said quietly, as to not wake his sleeping lover, “Nor your kindness, your soft glances or softer touches. Not the breathless moans as I worship you as you deserve, or the quiet laughs you try to hide behind your hands. I’m not worthy of the strength you lend to me, the way you pick up the broken pieces and place them back together as if it’s the most simple puzzle. I don’t deserve you, but Maker’s breath, do I love you.”

His hold on her, tight against him, goes somewhat slack as her hand continues to pet him. Groaning, he buries his face deeper into her chest, and he can feel more than hear the laughter he had mentioned only moments before.

“You were never asleep, were you?” It comes out no more than a mumble, but the woman somehow understands. Her lips ghost against his ear, her breath hot and perfect against his skin.

“No, but I’m glad I wasn’t.”

Her lips take hold of his lobe, earning a moan from Cullen, and his body is more than ready to respond when her next words stop his heart.

“You give me something to fight for, to look forward to every time I come back home. I stay strong so you never have to worry. I fear that if I don’t touch you, even in the smallest of ways, that I’ll wake up from this dream and never have you in my arms again. I love you more than my mediocre words can describe, Cullen.”

Her words, heart melting as they are, can’t compare to her actions as he flips them around to have her under him.

When he sets to work for the day, his eyes sport dark circles, his muscles ache from strain, and his head pounds. But not once does the gentle smile leave his lips as memory of his sleepless night with his love plays at the back of his mind. Those are the nights he likes the best.


	2. Worship

Cullen's body aches with the strain of his training. New recruits meant watching over them, making sure they were up to par, and they had been so below Inquisition standard that he'd been inches from having them kicked from the army to help in the kitchens. But he knew their hearts were in the right place, they only needed guidance. With the help of some advanced soldiers, he'd showed them how they were expected to fight.

The blonde had gone maybe a tad too far, missing how his blade fit into his hand, and did more drills than strictly necessary. He was going to pay the price for that now. All he wanted to do was fall into his bed and sleep.

Except Evelyn had asked him to meet her in her quarters. It had been a simple request at the time, why would he not join his beautiful girlfriend in her room, far more roomy and comfortable than his own?

He had completely forgotten about those blasted stairs. 

Cullen had thought he could make it up them all, he really had, but a little more than halfway through and the journey seemed impossible. It wouldn't be ridiculous to just sleep here, would it? He was sure Evelyn would understand.

As if the thought of her could summon her, the woman appeared at his side, all warmth and smiles, looking more angelic than she had a right to.

"I was wondering when you would get here. Come on, my love."

With her hand at his back, it didn't seem as hard to climb up to her quarters. His eyes quickly went to the large, neatly made bed, ready to dive in, but he did a double take when he saw what was in the middle of the room.

"D-did I interrupt your bathing time?" Cullen stuttered. He really didn't want to leave, but there was just something so intimate about bathing, he was sure she would want to do it alone. Even if he was just asleep a few feet away.

Evelyn's soft laughter put a stop to those thoughts. "This is for you, you dork."

If he wasn't so tired, Cullen was sure he would have pulled the woman to the bed and made love to her for her thoughtfulness.

Before he could say anything to encourage or deter her, her nimble fingers were already unbuckling his armor with expertise. She had him nude before his mind could even catch up to it, and he cocked a brow at her when she started to take off her own simple clothes. 

Evelyn smiled at him again, leaning in close enough to give his lips a gentle kiss before she pulled him to the tub.

She carefully stepped inside of the slightly steaming water before slowly sinking down, adjusting to the temperature. Once she was situated, she held her hand out to Cullen, offering him a spot between her legs.

"Isn't this backwards?" Cullen asked, though he didn't hesitate doing as she bid of him. The water, hot enough to turn his skin a pale pink, felt wonderful against his sore muscles. 

It was a little awkward trying to sit in the half occupied tub, but once he felt his back press against Evelyn' s chest, he knew he'd never want to leave.

"Maker this is... wonderful."

Evelyn's arms came down from over his shoulders, dripping small droplets on his chest. Her fingers start to run across his chest, the pressure getting more and more until she's released all the tension in the small area and Cullen doesn't think he remembers how to talk.

"I saw how hard you were working today," the woman said softly, doing her best to keep him in this state of limbo, wrapping her legs around him, "You had the most beautiful smile on your face as you kicked the asses of your soldiers."

Cullen chuckled, taking a calf in each of his hands and rubbing them back. Evelyn almost purred, but didn't stop her ministrations on him.

"But I know how hard you train in the mornings to keep in shape, I know how you bend at your desk and the war table every day, and all that on top of your drills can immobilize you. I wanted to make sure you didn't feel any lingering pain tomorrow."

At this point, her hands had moved to his back, pushing him away only slightly so she can start to massage his back. He can feel the muscles and knots in his back quivering under the attention, and he can feel his whole body shaking as she pushes the ache away.

"Maker's breath Evelyn. You might kill me, and I'll die happy." 

Her giggle brings a smile to his face, and he wants so badly to turn to her and kiss that smile, turn her giggles to something more. When he goes to do that, however, her hands grow firm and stop him.

"Let me do this for you Cullen. Let me worship you for once."

"Kissing you is enough for me," the Lion replied.

"And I love kissing you. But let me do more. Please?"

As if he could ever deny her requests. Making sure to let out a dramatic sigh, he nods his head and relaxes under her hands once again.

She takes her time massaging his aching muscles, without him even having to tell her where they are. Once Cullen had been reduced to a boneless body that can do nothing more than lean against her, she set to work on his hair.

A generous amount of cream smelling of elfroot is plopped on the crown of his head. Evelyn rubbed it into his curls, not able to resist the temptation of making strange styling choices to his hair. She takes a moment to collect her breath after her fit of laughter before washing the suds away. 

All too quickly for either of them, the water runs cold and they're forced to escape the bath. Cullen expertly wipes away the water with one of the fluffy towels on the couch near by, and as soon as Evelyn leaves the tub herself, wraps her into her own, wiping her down as well.

He ruffles her hair, making sure to dry it as best he can while also ignoring her sounds of protest that he's "ruining it!". When he tosses the towel away, her half hearted glare is met by his most amused smirk. 

When they finally settle into bed, Evelyn 's head resting on his chest, Cullen let out a content sigh.

"Evelyn?"

"Hmm?" Her noise is tired, like she's fighting off sleep.

Cullen places a kiss to her temple. "I love you."


	3. Withdrawals

Many months had gone by since the last drop of Lyrium had touched Cullen's lips, and the symptoms of his withdrawal had finally started to lower in its severity. He no longer had crazy hallucinations, dark thoughts about his life, and the song no longer called to him so tantalizingly.

Unfortunately, his body still had lots of Lyrium to purge from his system. Normally, it made the Commander suffer from headaches, sudden bursts of pain from different parts of his body, and extreme sensitivity to light. Day after day, it was a normal thing Cullen was used to going through.

There were some days, like today, that his body worked in overtime, removing the presence of the drug as quickly as it could, leaving him bed ridden for the whole day. Sometimes a week.

Cullen kept quiet about those days, sending word through his most trusted messenger that he wasn't to be disturbed because he had important work to get through. 

Usually, this method worked for him. The ones who knew his secret knew the truth, but respected his wishes to be alone. Strangely, Evelyn was never around when this happened, out of the keep, or at least too busy herself to visit him that day.

Today wasn't that day.

"My Worship, the Commander asked for privacy-"

"And his request was duly noted and overruled by me. See to it that only I enter and leave the tower. The servants I will be sending will knock and leave their things at the door. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes your Worship!"

The short interaction and the traitorous messengers fleeing footsteps had been loud in Cullen's aching head, but he groaned at the fact that his love would be seeing him like this.

As quietly as she could, the woman had climbed up his ladder, popping her head up so she could look at him and give him a nervous smile.

"Did you really have to scare the spirit out of him like that?" Ugh, even the loudness of his own voice made his pain worse.

Evelyn climbed the rest of the way up, a pack over her shoulder, and didn't respond to him until she was sitting on the floor next to him, her legs crossed over one another. Cullen couldn't help but offer her his hand, clammy as it was, and her smile was blinding. She kissed the back of his hand and held it close to her.

"I had no choice, my love. He was more scared of you than me, I had to make sure he'd listen to me." 

Her voice was quiet, lower than even a whisper, as if she knew of his sensitivities. Cullen wasn't sure if it was because of this or if it was just her, but her voice was soothing to his ears, his tension dropping just a bit.

The hand that wasn't clinging to his pressed against his burning forehead, like ice compared to his skin that it felt wonderful. Cullen could see the frown that had tainted Evelyn's lips, and he hated that he'd brought that from her.

"I wish you would have told me of this, love. We would have been able to do something about it much earlier."

From her pack, she pulled out some vials, all containing different colored brews and potions. Quickly scanning over them, and making sure that none of them clinked together, she picked a small, purple concoction.

Uncorking it, she placed the vial against his lips, urging him to drink. He did as she asked, and his face pinched in disgust.

"Maker, what was that?"

"For your sound and light sensitivity. It'll be hard to treat you if I can't even make the slightest noise."

Now that she mentioned it, he could feel the sounds of every little creak in the walls starting to fade away, slowly but surely. This would make everything else extremely bearable in the long run.

"Thank you Evelyn, I appreciate all this, but it's not necessary. I'm sure you have more important things to do."

Her cold hand came to his face again, heaven resting upon his cheek, and be couldn't help getting lost in her eyes.

"There's nothing more important right now than seeing you well. You're the leader of our army, one of my most trusted advisors, and the love of my life. What kind of woman would I be if I left you here to suffer?"

She didn't give him a moment to retaliate before she shoved another potion down his throat, almost making him choke.

"And that's for not telling me about this."

Hours passed by between them. Evelyn had servants deliever her buckets of water, cloths, herbs to burn, as well as hot soup and bread to fill their empty stomachs. Besides getting up to retrieve these things, Evelyn had never left his side.

She had placed a wet cloth on his forehead, cooling him down while she used a second cloth to wipe the sweat from his skin. After a couple more potions, which he had quickly stopped asking what they did, she had come over with their food and fed him, being careful not to spill the hot broth on him.

Usually, he would have been embarrassed to need so much help, but he knew how much doing this meant to her, and being able to relax his agonized body was a nice change to grimacing against it all. So he let her coddle him, and enjoyed being pampered.

The only thing Cullen didn't like was the fact that she was so far away from him that he couldn't touch her, couldn't hold or kiss her. The only thing he could do was reach for her, and Evelyn would allow him to hold her hand, but nothing more. How could you miss someone so much when they were right in front of you?

As the day continued by him, Cullen found himself in and out of consciousness. It was hard to tell at first, since Evelyn never moved from her spot, but at one point, he seemed to only blink and the sun was gone from the sky when he opened his eyes again. But there she still was, reading one of the books he had lying about in his room.

Cullen watched her for a while, taking in the opportunity now that he was thankfully feeling much better and able to look at her without her knowing be was awake.

She was focused on the book, something about strategies on the battle field, and Cullen couldn't help but scoff. He hoped she hadn't been reading that this whole time. It was as dry as the sand in the Hissing Wastes. Catching his noise, she looked up at him, happy to see he was now awake.

"You look much better after that nap. The color's finally returned to your skin."

"Thanks to you," he sighed, content as he'd ever felt in a long time, "Though your color seems to have gone, after holding vigil over me for so long. Rest with me?"

Nodding, Evelyn placed the book down, coming over to him to sit next to the empty space he had made for her. She had barely sat down before Cullen pulled her down to him, laughing at the "oof" noise she made when she landed on his chest. 

"You're the worst patient I've ever taken care of, Ser Rutherford."

"But you love it."

A kiss interrupted her next remark.

"I don't love it. I love you."

When the Commander woke the next morning, he felt more rejuvenated than he had in a long time, like he'd slept well every day for the past few years. And waking up with a beautiful sleeping woman tucked around you helped as well.

Evelyn was still out cold, and probably would stay that way just a bit longer, after the strain she had put on her body to care for him yesterday. Cullen ran his hand down her back, watching with awe as his beautiful creature smiled and cuddled closer to his warmth.

"One day I'll make this all up to you. I'll show you in every way imaginable how much I love you and appreciate everything you do for not just me, but for everyone you take under your care. I'm a lucky man to have you."

Cullen made sure he was still there when she woke up, bringing her back from the Fade to soft words and even softer touches.


	4. Reminders of Home

"Are... Are you eating dried rations?"

Startled, Cullen looked up from the paperwork on his desk, a piece of dried druffalo hanging from his mouth, to see Evelyn standing at the door. She had a baffled expression on her face and a tray with two steaming bowls of something god awful, he was sure. He pulled the piece of meat from his mouth and tried to regain his composure. 

"Ah, yes, um... I had them at my disposal, and was hungry, but there's so much work to be done."

"You're terrible at lying, love."

Walking in, the woman sat the tray on his desk, around all the papers, and leaned on the corner closest to her boyfriend. Her eyebrow was cocked at him with her arms crossed over her chest. She said nothing, but Cullen knew she wanted an explanation. Especially after the face the man made when he got a whiff of their "dinner".

"I just, I can't stand some of the meals they make here. I understand they have many people to feed and limited supplies to use, but this," he gestured at the bowls, "is a bit too much. Rations are more preferable most days."

"I didn't know this bothered you so much." Evelyn moved from leaning against the table to sit in Cullen's lap, a weight which he happily took as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.

"It usually doesn't. I'm a solider, I've dealt with worse. I guess I just miss some of the foods I grew up on; Fereldan food."

"Fereldan's aren't known to have the best cuisine."

Cullen couldn't help but smile at that. There was many a time he's been teased for his heritage, food included. 

"Its not like the fancy stuff you'll find in Orlais, but made right, it's absolutely divine, and almost impossible to mess up."

Evelyn pressed a kiss to his nose, resting her forehead against his in a trusting manner, making him grin happily and absentmindedly stroke her sides.

"I'll see if we can up the quality of our dinners, that way our Commander doesn't waste away in his office over his desk."

Cullen stood up then, moving Evelyn so she was now resting in said desk, and kissed her with vigor, pulling soft moans from her. They stayed like this until the call for air was too strong. 

"I'd rather have you over my desk."

\---

Evelyn was avoiding him, he as sure of it. She had gone on a short trip to the Hinterlands a week ago, taking care of some trivial thing that she really didn't have to, and she'd come back 2 days ago. Usually, he was the first person he came to see when she came back, but he hasn't even heard a word from her.

They'd had one war table meeting, where she was the last to join, and the first to bolt out of the room. Cullen had tried to follow after her, but Josephine and Leliana had cut off his path, asking him questions he hadn't heard as he watched his girlfriend run away from him.

Had he... done something wrong? He looked back through his memories, but nothing popped out at him. Maybe she had seen something disturbing while on the road and decided she needed some time alone? Unanswered questions ran through his mind. This was so frustrating!

He should just go to her in her quarters, demand to know what was wrong. Did she not understand he was here whenever she needed someone to fall on? 

"No, no, you can't do that, she's the Inquisitor. You'll look like a madman," he mumbled, pulling at his hair.

Maybe he should just retire to bed early tonight, it's not like he was going to get any more work done today with Evelyn in the front of his mind. 

Just as he started to unclasp his armor and head up the ladder, a soft knock sounded on his door. His heart stopped for a moment. He hurried to the door and pulled it open, seeing a somewhat frazzled Evelyn on the other side, her hair a mess and looking tired. 

"Evelyn, is there something wro-"

Then a smell hit his nose, something so familiar, but something he hadn't smelled in a long time. And that's when he noticed that the woman was also holding a tray in her arms, similar to the other night.

"Is that-?"

"I hope it's not too awful!" Evelyn interuppted, sounding as nervous as she looked, "It took me a long time to find the recipe for Fereldan Lamb and Pea Stew and there's very few directions on how you're actually supposed to make it, so I had to experiment and-"

"Evelyn, calm down," Cullen chuckled, his tense demeanor finally relaxing since she had returned. He took the tray from her and placed it on his desk quickly before going back to her and wrapping her in his arms.

"Is this what you went off to do?"

She nodded her head against his shoulder, seeming to relax herself. "And why I've been hiding from you. I knew I'd spill the beans if I saw you before it was finished. Please eat it and put me out of my misery."

Not like she gave him a choice. Evelyn pushed him back towards his desk and moved the food to sit in front of him. It smelled delightful, no matter what other people said about his country's food. He took a bite to appease her.

It brought back memories of his mother standing in the kitchen while he watched her, fascinated as she slowly stirred the stew. This didn't taste like his mother's, but it was still damn good, and not just because Evelyn had made it for him.

"Its heavenly, my love."

Her eyes lit up at that, and that small compliment was worth it. "You really think so?"

"I would never lie to you. And you went through so much trouble, just for me."

"I just want you to be comfortable, or as much as you can in the middle of a war."

How could she make him fall more and more in love with her everyday? Pulling her into his lap, he kissed her with the stew still on his tongue. 

"Thank you Evelyn, this means much more than I can say."


	5. To Whom It May Concern

It was earlier than Cullen usually started his work day, the sun just starting to peak up over the horizon, lighting up the way back to his tower, one he had hadn't seen in a few days. Evelyn had set out on a long tour, where she would be gone for a month, and Cullen had cleared his whole schedule to make sure he could spend as much time with her before her departure. Just this morning, he had seen her off, and he already missed her. It would be a long month ahead of him.

He sighed as he let himself into his tower, rubbing his neck. At least Cullen had a lot of work to keep him busy. He'd let lots of work pile up to spend his time with his love, but it had been worth it to have his arms around her.

Reaching blindly for his box of matches, he hoped with all hope he would have at least one, since he knew he had been running low. He was pleasantly surprised to feel a box, bigger than he usually had, and when he opened it up, it was full. He cocked his head to the side, looking at the now lit match. When had he gotten these?

He didn't have time to wonder about that. Slowly, he started to light the candles around his office, revealing more and more of the room to him. Wait... were these new candles? What had happened to the old ones? Not that they would be much use, since he'd burned them down to the wick, but still. What was going on?

The Commander turned to his desk, and was more surprised than he had been of anything else.

His papers, which were usually arranged easily across the table, were now in four separate piles, not a single corner out of place. In front of that, a cup filled with, when he inspected, new quills, with unopened bottles of the blackest ink sat next to them. All of his wax and sealing supplies, besides the stamp, had been replaced, and there sat a beautifully sealed letter.

Addressed to him, once he had turned it over. The script was familiar, and Cullen couldn't stop the smile coming to his lips, his fingers following the loops of letters of his name.

My dear Cullen,

I know there will be much work ahead of you in light of my departure, as there always is. But just because I'm not there, doesn't mean you can stop caring for yourself. 

Which means no longer using those nubby quills to write your letters, or the watery ink you usually use. I've organized the work you have in front of you, in hopes to take some stress off your shoulders. I also found out messengers would come to you with the silliest of things, so I threatened them to leave you alone with that nonsense.

Leliana has also been instructed to drag you from your quarters during dinner, so you don't skip any meals. Or eat rations again.

I love you with everything in me, my Lion. Stay safe, and I will see you as soon as possible.

Missing you,  
Evelyn

Cullen couldn't help but sigh like a love sick teenager. This was going to be a long month.


	6. Stronger

The month flies by, and not in a way that Cullen had ever wanted. He had taken it easy, as his love had requested, not dreading going down to his office every morning with her little reminders everywhere. Everyone could tell he was in a better mood, and it seemed to have a good impact on his people's morale.

He joined all his friends during dinner, laughing and joking with them while he ate. Cullen usually left for bed with sore cheeks from smiling.

He would go to sleep in his own bed, curled around a pillow that smelled of Evelyn. They would write each other every now and then, but they couldn't put much personal information in them, since they would be seen by many eyes. This is the way it went day after day.

Then Cullen was called into the war room. When he finally marched in, he was greeted with the grim faces of Leliana and Josephine. The spymaster handed him a well worn piece of parchment.

_The Lion is to move the Pride to the Desert Keep, with him at it's lead. Bring the Raven and Quill with him. They shall meet with the Fox for further instructions._

An encoded message. Evelyn, the Fox, was asking her advisors to bring their army to Griffin's Keep. They only ever used this method of communication when the situation was dire. 

Cullen looked up into the determined eyes of his friends. He nodded.

"To work."

\---

When the battle had been said and done, when he had kissed Evelyn on the battlefield, praying that she returned, when she had fallen into the Fade and made his heart stop, and when she had fallen back out with one less companion, Cullen had felt ten years older.

They had won, but the cost had been more than they had thought. Not only in the lives of his soldiers, but as well as the tricked Wardens, and Hawke as well. While the warriors sang praises of their Inquisitor, of her victory of the Fade, her Inner Circle felt the true weight of the day.

After he had taken care of the lingering business for the day, pushing everything else to tomorrow, he made his way to the Inquisitor's tent. While it wasn't completely isolated, it was far away from everyone else as safely possible, giving her as much privacy as possible.

As the man drew closer to the tent, he could hear noises come from inside. When he strained his ears, focusing only on that, he could hear Evelyn. And she was crying. 

Wasting no time, Cullen was inside the tent with the woman in his arms before he even realized he had moved.

"My sweetest love," he cooed, rocking her back and forth, "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head, and he allowed her time to cry into his chest. He pet her hair and squeezed her close to him until she calmed down enough to talk.

"I let them down, I let them all down."

"What are you talking about Evelyn? You stopped a demon army from tearing Thedas apart. You failed no one."

"I'm a fake Cullen! We saw awful things in the Fade, our worst dreams come to life. There was one shining Beacon in there, the spirit if the Divine. She helped us, but she also helped me retrieve my memories from the Conclave."

She shuddered in his arms, wrapping around the blonde tighter.

"It wasn't Andraste who pushed me out of the Fade. It was Justinia. She traded her life for my own, and the world has been following a fake. I'm no Herald, I'm just the person who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Those who died followed a liar, and Hawke sacrificed herself so that same liar could come out alive. I've failed her, I failed our people, and I've failed you."

Cullen immediately moved a hand to her hair, tangling his fingers into the locks to hold them tightly, keeping her to his body.

"Don't. Don't you dare say that. You haven't failed us. You've done nothing but help us."

He kissed the crown of her head, making sure to pause so her tears didn't overpower his words.

"Just because Andraste didn't deliever you to us through her own hands, the Maker has set a path for all of us. And even if he hadn't, you stayed to help the world when you could have fled at any moment. The people no longer follow you just because you are blessed. They follow you because our cause is right. And all of them, even Hawke, knew that that was the right thing to do."

He pulled her face away from his body, looking into her red eyes, and kissed her trail of tears.

"And you could never fail me. You've brought me strength when I needed it most, helped me through my addiction to see that I am still worth something after all the horror I've seen. You've loved me, cared for me, and brought out who I am supposed to be. Without you, I would be nothing. You care for me so deeply I'll never be able to pay you back as long as I live, but you give me a reason to try."

Cullen continued to hold her and dry her tears for some time after that, because the nightmares of the Fade were not easy to forget. He held her up, and at the same time, he grew stronger. She was the one thing in this world that had gone right for him, and he wouldn't let her slip away.

Burying his nose into her hair, he took in her scent, something he had missed so much, and promised to be stronger, if only for her.


	7. Saving Her

They travel back to Skyhold together, out of convenience and because Cullen wanted to keep an eye on Evelyn. Their traveling party was larger than she was used to, she had confessed, but it was nice having more friends close to her. And for once, Cullen could see the dynamic between her and her Inner Circle when she wasn't forced to be diplomatic.

Varric did his best to antagonize Cassandra, who Cullen could tell through all her sighs and threats, liked it. Even if he did cause her face to heat up when he talked about his romance serial, which everyone knew at this point Cassandra was obsessed with. Sometimes Evelyn would join in with the teasing, other times the women would talk about the book with fervour.

The relationship between Dorian and Bull Evelyn said was sure to bloom seemed to be doing just that. The first time that they flirted in front of him, his love had given him a gloating look. Cullen had grumbled but given her the gold they had bet on.

It was still hard to see through the friendship Evelyn and Vivienne shared, which seemed a bit cold and one sided, but the mage put a smile on the Inquisitor's face, so who was he to complain about the bond between them?

Cole seemed to be a little shaken up about the fact that Evelyn had found herself in the Fade, but she and Solas consoled him with different stories, some that they made up on the spot. It seemed a bit mean at first, the way they teased and his eyes lit up, but he understood that lies came with a good story. Cullen didn't think he had ever heard the spirit laugh before.

Blackwall would distract Evelyn so Sera could either prank her, or the others they were traveling with. Cullen had know they were friends, but he wasn't sure if he approved of Blackwall's hand in the games. Not that he needed to distract the woman, because she was blissfully aware of their antics and let them do as they pleased with a smile.

It was... nice, to see them all like this. Cullen knew they were all dealing with the struggles the battle had just brought them, but it seemed so easy for the group to fall back to their usual rhythm. Their smiles and laughs were contagious to the few soldiers they were traveling with. 

And at night, as Cullen held Evelyn during the night, stroking her back as she slept, hoping to help her through the nightmares she occasionally had, Cullen knew he had been right. She had put the passion in all those people. Not because they thought she came because of a higher power, though that had helped some.

Evelyn had taken the time and effort to learn about them, to form bonds of friendship through battle, shared hardships, and meals in a hall and around fires alike. Their needs had been taken care of as swiftly as Evelyn could manage, and their loyalty to her and become unbreakable.

Not because she was the Herald of Andraste, not because she was the Inquisitor, but because she was Evelyn. Their friend. 

She had failed no one. Especially not him.

Not when she had taken an interest in him, believed in him to lead their army. Had risked her life to save the people of Haven, and had come back to him through a blizzard, clinging to his pauldron of fur for dear life.

She'd refused to let him step down, had shown with words and actions how much he had meant to her and the people. Evelyn had saved him. He would happily do the same for her.

His fingers trailed down to her own, ghosting over her ring finger. He would save her.


	8. Discarded

This was the worst idea he'd ever had. He was shivering in his seat, rubbing his arms to try and provide himself some warmth. Everyone was looking at him with smirks, watching as he glared at the pile of money, and clothes, in front of him. Sighing, there was only one thing left for him to do.

Being as quick as possible, he pulled off his smalls and threw them on top of the rest of his pile of clothes. He was red from his ears to his toes, everyone could tell that now. Why had he let Varric talk him into this?

There was a giggle at his side, and he glanced over to see Evelyn covering her mouth to muffle her mirth. Her eyes were shining, more than he'd seen them in the past two weeks.

Ah, yes, this was why.

The woman had been doing better since Adamant, slowly but surely. At first, she had thrown herself into her work, starting to look more and more like Cullen had when he'd been plagued nightly by his Lyrium induced nightmares. It had been Cullen's turn to be stubborn, to drag her to bed, to bring her food, to shake sense into her.

This has been the cherry on the top. Joining her friends for a silly game where the stakes weren't lives, but gold and clothes. The ale was plentiful, and everyone could see her starting to relax.

Cullen could agree that a bit of his embarrassment was worth her joy. That didn't stop him from running as soon as he could though. He could only hope that not too many people had seen him on his run of shame.

It wasn't too long later when Cullen heard Evelyn's footsteps as she entered his office. He buried himself further into the blanket in his bed, preparing for the teasing he was sure to recieve. 

She climbed up the ladder, and stood still long enough for Cullen to peak from under the covers.

She stood not too far away from the bed, wearing his fur pauldron, and if the sliver of skin he saw through the gap of the cloak was any indication, she was completely bare.

"Josephine said she would return your armor to you tomorrow, but I won this from her. I think it looks splendid on me, don't you?"

It turned out it looked much better discarded on the floor.


	9. Saving The World

He had intended it to go a different way. Really, Cullen had a couple scenarios in his head. He'd practice different speeches hundreds of times, stumbling over every word along the way. Damn him when it came to words, he could never spit them out! The blonde had vowed to never ask until he was completely ready.

Of course that hadn't happened.

Dorian had asked for some of his time earlier in the week, demanding a rematch game of chess. Cullen agreed, as he was sure he wasn't going to lose, and made his way to the Courtyard.

Strangely enough, the table had been occupied when he got there. Not that Cullen minded, since it seemed Evelyn also wanted a rematch against her greatest opponent, Kieran.

Her brow was scrunched together as she stared at the pieces on the checkered table. Even from here, Cullen could see that she was doomed, and he was sure she knew that, but sometimes it was finding the best way to lose that counted.

She moved a single piece, and the gentle smile the boy had on his face grew bigger, and he quickly took Evelyn's queen.

"I win again."

"Ugh! I promise, I will beat you! Another game?"

Kieran nodded over to Cullen. "I think someone wants your attention. Rain check."

Without another word, the boy left, leaving a pouting Inquisitor in his wake. Her expression didn't brighten as Cullen approached, but he couldn't help laughing a bit.

"Bested again I see?"

"That's easy for you to tease about, you win all your games with Dorian. He and I are destined to live in shame." 

She slid down into her seat, looking up at the roof of the gazebo they were under. She scratched at her loose locks, biting her lip.

"I'm sure you'll get him one day, since you play fair. Dorian, on the other hand..."

"If I cheat, I get lectures. Lectures! From a child! I'm the Inquisitor for goodness sake!"

Cullen half paid attention to her rant, finding it more alluring to watch her movements and expressions.

She cared so much about this, as she did for everything she did. Evelyn had gone out of her way to make not only Kieran and Morrigan feel comfortable, but every refugee in the castle she could. She took her time to make sure she talked to everyone, no matter their status in the world.

She would talk to Blackwall and Dennet in the stables, but also the stable hands and messengers that would find her. She would head to the kitchens and give the cooks delicacies she had found on her travels. Even the nasty nobles she was kind to, either ignoring their snide remarks or giving them backhanded compliments.

Evelyn was just... amazing. Though the Conclave had been a tragedy, they really were lucky that she had walked out of it all and gave them the hope they needed. That he had needed.

She was in the middle of a very heated rant when he opened his mouth like an idiot.

"Mary me."

They both froze as soon as he said it.

Evelyn, who had been almost lying in her chair, slowly sat up, staring at him with large doe eyes. 

"I... what did you say?"

Cullen had expected to stumble over his words again, apologize like a dunce and run away, but... he felt at peace. This was how it would go.

"Marry me, Evelyn. Every day I fall deeper and deeper in love with you. I want you always by my side. So... Marry me?"

Maybe it hadn't been as smooth as he had wanted it to be, or long enough to convey how much she truly meant to him, but Cullen knew it had been perfect.

And he was sure Evelyn had thought so too. She jumped out of her chair faster than Cullen could blink and threw herself into his arms, wrapping her arms and legs around him. Her lips found his and that was all the answer he needed.

He would show her day after day with actions, not just words, how much she meant to him. 

First, they just had to finish saving the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way Cullen first says "Marry me." In Tresspasser melts my heart. But there's no way it took that long for them.


	10. To Work

Evelyn had barely any time to heal from the battle in the Arbor Wilds when it happened. They were all arguing, like they usually did nowadays, when the sky exploded. Bright green light shone into the War Room, making them cover their eyes.

At the same time, the Anchor sparked to life, consuming half her arm. Evelyn grunted and grabbed at her hand, wincing at the pain. The Breach and the Anchor both pulsed together, though they were miles away. When the lights finally started to dim, the Inquisitor looked over them all.

"This... this is it. Corypheus is calling an end to this now."

"Most of my men are still on their way back from the Arbor Wilds. There's no men I can send with you."

Evelyn turned to Cullen, giving him a smile, though it was tinged with sadness.

"Likely his plan. We don't have a choice here. I need to go. We need to end this now."

"I'm sure we have some allies patrolling the boarders we can call to arms," Josephine interjected, " We can't just let you go to him by yourself!"

"She won't be alone," Morrigan said, stamping her staff to the ground, "She will have me, as well as the rest of her trusted Inner Circle."

"We barely made it out of the Wilds as victors, and we had an army then!" Cullen yelled, walking to stand directly in front of Evelyn now. She didn't back down, her eyes blazing with her anger.

"He is just as crippled as we are right now. Corypheus has lost his army, and I am missing mine. He has that orb of power, I have the Anchor. We are at an impasse. I must fight him with my own power."

"I told you I wouldn't let you get into another Haven situation again, and I meant it. We'll have to find another way-"

Evelyn grabbed Cullen's face in both of her hands, bringing him towards her so she could rest her forehead against his own. There was a long silence in the room, where everyone could only watch as the lovers held one another in a pained way. A moment later, Evelyn sighed and pulled away, regaining her composure and addressing the rest of her advisors.

"Send for my Circle. In an hour, we leave for the Breach."

She walked out of the room without another look at anyone else, leaving a slumped Cullen staring out over the Breach.

"To work."


	11. Taken Care

_"Promise me,"_ he had said, _"Promise me that you'll come back."_

The Breach, such a sickly green tint, had thundered like a sea storm, effecting them all the way here in Skyhold. It had fluctuated in its power over and over. Until it exploded in the sky.

It was different then. A straight line of green light that flew to the heavens, never stopping as it disappeared into the clouds. For a moment, the entirety of Skyhold was silent, mouths open in silent horror.

Had Corephyus won?

_She had hugged him tighter to her, her face buried in his neck._

_"We can't promise things that are impossible."_

I'm the next moment, there was another shine of light, what looked like green lightning, that shot into the Breach's center. And just like every Rift she had ever closed, Evelyn pulled at this one and closed it.

Almost immediately, the sky began to clear, the dark clouds fading away to reveal the night sky, the twinkling stars singing the victory they had won.

She did it. She had defeated him.

_Evelyn pulled away just enough so she could kiss Cullen properly, resting her forehead against his._

_"So I promise I'll come back."_

The wait for her ride back seemed like nothing compared to waiting while she battled. There was so much work to be done before she even arrived that when the guards called Evelyn's return, he hadn't even noticed the sun had begun to rise. 

Her advisors all stood together on the steps leading up to the castle, watching as a beaten and worn, but victorious, Inquisitor walked into her Kingdom. So badly did Cullen want to run down to her, to hold her and to kiss her and to never let her go. But this was a win for them all, and letting the people see her here like this was just as important as all the work that had taken up their lives until now.

So he waited until she was done with the crowd, done with Leliana and Josephine, to smile at her with all the love and happiness that she had put into his heart. She grabbed onto him like he was like last solid thing in this World, and only he could tell that she was shaking with every bone.

"Thank you for keeping your promise. I love you."

She didn't say it back, just held on tighter, and he could feel her shaking with her tears.

There would be a celebration for their victory, there would be songs written of their struggles, and Cullen hoped soon, a wedding for them. 

But first came the healing. To escape the nightmares that reminded you of a war you no longer had to fight. To learning how and when to put on a brave face when you felt like falling apart.

"I'm here for you my love. Through everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading this story. It was more than I thought it was going to be, but I'm still happy with it. 
> 
> Also, there will be a sequel with these two through Trespasser. So look out for that!


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